An Emotional Giant Slayer

DISCLAIMER: Gets a little graphic.

As Goliath moved closer to attack, David quickly ran out to meet him. Reaching into his shepherd’s bag and taking out a stone, he hurled it with his sling and hit the Philistine in the forehead. The stone sank in, and Goliath stumbled and fell face down on the ground. 

So David triumphed over the Philistine with only a sling and a stone, for he had no sword. Then David ran over and pulled Goliath’s sword from its sheath. David used it to kill him and cut off his head.

~1 Samuel 17:48-51

I don't remember that last verse from Sunday school. Sure, we heard all about David and Goliath - even the stone slinging prowess that knocked the giant out cold - but it wasn't the stone that killed him... it was the CUTTING OFF OF HIS HEAD. How long was Goliath was out? I mean for the stone to "sink in" to his forehead that must have been some throw, but did Goliath completely black out or was he just momentarily dazed. How long did David have to finish the job? 

One thing's for sure, he didn't hesitate. Just like he had likely done protecting his flock from lions and bears, he knew there was a small window of opportunity from when his throw landed to when he would lose the close combat advantage. He immediately ran over to the overly grown man, unsheathed the giant's sword, which was also undoubtedly large and heavy, and proceeded to sever his freshly dented head from its body.

I find I have a hard time relating to David in that particular moment. I naturally tend to put myself in other people's shoes but I just can't imagine what would have been running through David's head as he was chopping off Goliath's cabeza. I bet it was a blurry tornado of thoughts, emotions, and pure adrenaline. Maybe he was thinking about Saul's daughter that he'd just won. Maybe he was reveling in the tax-exempt status he'd just earned his family. Maybe he was fervently lifting up his worship and gratitude to God for the victory. Maybe all of the above.

Now, let's fast forward to Psalm 42. The now-King David is pouring out his heart using some of the most poignant metaphors and passionate expression in all of the Bible...

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”

This is the same man who killed countless in battle and commanded armies to crushing victories. He's certainly no stranger to the crude, uncensored frailty of life. And yet, he still possessed an abysmal depth of emotion and the ability to convey it in word and song.

Where is this man in our society? Where is the modern-day David? A man's man but sensitive. A warrior with tears on his face. Requiring no earthly possession yet still utterly reliant and desperate for the provision of God. These seem like opposite ends of the spectrum, but in fact they are the credentials of greatness. An astounding legacy relies on a foundation of spiritual and emotional refinement, which is the inevitable result of pursuing a relationship with God.

I am fascinated and challenged by David's breadth character. No wonder God referred to him as "a man after my own heart". (Acts 13:22)

Water Ghost

It was about the fourth watch of the night. Wind howling against the mast as if it were about to tear right off the boat. If it weren't for the muddled glow of moonlight behind the stormy overcast, I would have be blind to how white my knuckles looked clinging to the side as they tossed about. I had been in storms before but something about this one was different. It was as if it was hell-bent on ripping our craft apart at the seams and casting us into the belly of the sea. 

My friends were no comfort in all the chaos. I might as well have been alone. Between the waves smashing into my face I could vaguely make out Matt struggling to tie off a rope. Andy tried crossing the boat to help but lost his footing; his cheek connecting with corner of a bench. Simultaneously a loud crack splits the sky. Pete helplessly yells out orders for someone to check on Andy. Pete's eyes, normally filled with confidence, showed a desperation I had never seen before.

Then I caught my brother Jim out of the corner of my eye. Something was off. I took a closer look. Jim's face was pale. He looked crippled with fear and his gaze was locked on something behind me. I slowly turned, almost in disbelief that there could be something worse than what we were already experiencing. Then I saw it.

Against the night sky and midst the swelling waves was a figure, inhumanly perched atop the water. There was no way that was there before. It couldn't be a spire of land, because it was moving! Was this some dormant creature choosing now, of all times, to rear it's ugly head? Out of the welling terror deep within, the only word I could muster was "GHOST!" 

As if under some sort of spell, Pete climbs over the side of the boat and, defying all laws of logic and nature, steps toward the being, ignoring the surface tension of the water. Another step. Another step. Then, breaking from the trance, Pete looks back and makes eye contact with me. I'll never forget that look. As quickly as glance took place, it was over and Pete plunged into the water... but not before the mysterious figure could grasp his arm.

-Embellishments/paraphrases of Matthew 14:22-26, Mark 6:45-59, and John 6:16-19

Bonus points to whoever knows from which disciple's perspective I was writing. (the hint is in the 3rd paragraph)

Who knew the bible could be so riveting, right? The truth is, I don't imagine I'm too far off from what that experience was actually like for the disciples. They actually did yell out "Ghost!" (Matthew 14:26). Turns out it was just Jesus. Walking on water. Psh, should've known.

The first thing Jesus says to the disciples when they catch him water-walking is "It is I; do not be afraid." which is funny because, these days, I think more people would run after finding out it was Jesus. That's a different kind of fear. Gabriel the Angel, you know, the one who told Mary she was pregnant, kicked his speech off with the same ice breaker: "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God." (Luke 1:30) With all of the emphasis on fear this time of year, I figured I would share that, while you may be shivering in your boots, there's a way to tell who the good guys are; they're the ones saying "Don't be afraid."

Treasure

Back in middle school and the days of coveted recess time you could find me aimlessly wandering our small little school playground. I was kind of  a loner, even then, when cliques weren't really a thing and everyone was gloriously naive to the social ramifications of associating with certain personality types (oh, what a savage landscape grade-school can be). I was almost constantly lost in my own imagination. Wood-chipped areas became bubbling lava pools over which I could dangle from ladders (monkey bars) spanning treacherous gaps. Concrete slabs became dry and desolate deserts with distorted mirages of water pools and no sight of oasis. Merry-go-rounds became revolving arenas of battle and teeter-totters became pirate planks. The world was my playground and the playground was my world.

You can imagine my surprise then when, one day, amidst my wanderings, I stumbled across a very tangible finding. There, buried in the wood-chips and in the shadow of the spiral slide, I uncovered a treasure. It was a ziplock bag packed full of pennies. I remember rubbing my eyes once or twice and looking around as if it was some kind of joke. Nope, no one was looking at me and laughing. Just kids playing as normal, oblivious to the transcendent experience I was having. Did some other kid lose it? Surely none of the kids I knew were that "rich". Did an adult hide it here in a hurried moment with the intention of returning? Whose treasure was this?... Mine?

I sat there clutching the bag with my thoughts running a hundred miles per hour. It was quite the internal battle really. My parents had instilled an incredibly strong sense of right and wrong in me already and my conscience was weighing down on me like an anvil. After what seemed like an eternity, I slowly covered the bag again and, with one last lingering stare, walked away, leaving the treasure for who knows what fate.

True story. I could be $1.23 richer today had I chosen differently.

~

Treasure is not always monetary riches though. Treasure can be whatever holds great value to us. We all have something we treasure. I'm willing to bet most of us don't even know where we have our treasure hidden. And yet, all of our decisions revolve around protecting it. If there were a treasure hunter after your treasure, what would their map look like? Where would it lead? The formula to finding it is simple really....

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. - Matthew 6:21

You follow someone's heart, you'll find their treasure. Where are they investing their time, money, and energy? Those are the clues.

Where does my treasure map lead?  Well, to be honest, the time that I protect the most is probably not the time that I should be protecting. That's something that's been on my heart lately and something I'm working on. Hopefully the healthy dose of conviction I'm administering myself helps someone else too.

I know the treasure I want people to find when they analyze my life. I know the conclusion I would want them to come to when they look at how I spend my time, my relationships, my family, and what I do when no one is looking. I want them to follow the signs of unexplained favor, genuine joy, unshakable peace, and perplexing love and, when they've discovered all of the clues, find themselves face to face with the mysterious Answer of it all.

It's not an easy journey finding that real treasure. Treasure that, once acquired, no one can steal. For others that have gone before us it has cost them their possessions, their money, their jobs (Matthew 19:21). It may even strip away everything you thought made you you. But the reward is, well, something quite hard to describe. It's something no amount of gold coins or precious gems could buy. If you haven't had the revelation that money can't buy happiness yet then there's your first nugget drawn from this treasure (Luke 9:23-25). What happens when you value that which is unseen more than that which is seen? You can do things no one has done. When you labor after another man's treasure, you'll get what you've set out to acquire. But if you labor after the bounty of heaven, you'll accomplish what no one ever has before.

Search your heart and find out where your treasure lies. Are you chasing after wind in search of the riches of this world (Ecclesiastes 1:14)? Where do you want your treasure map to lead?

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. - Matthew 6:19-21

Holy White Noise, Batman

I like to sleep with a fan on. Not for the cooling effect but for the noise. Something about the drone of the electric motor whirring away and the wind kicking off the blades is comforting and, more importantly, just loud enough to drown out all of the house creaks, barking dogs, and 2AM motor cyclists when you're trying to fall asleep. One of the many wonderful uses of white noise.

White noise can be defined as:
1. Noise containing many frequencies with equal intensities
2. Such noise as used to mask other noises

It essentially sounds like static. White noise also made for some excellent percussion sounds in 8-bit SNES games. Just sayin'.

Psychologists might even pin the calming effect of the fan noise as originating all the way back to when we were in the womb and found the sound of our mothers' heartbeat and circulating blood peaceful. Makes sense to me. Doesn't really make it seem that manly though. Oh well.

This same concept can be applied to spiritual life.

Keeping a steady stream of good influences in your life can drown out the worldly distractions that might send you down a road you didn't want to go on. For me, holy white noise means surrounding myself with Godly people, attending a small group, attending church every week, reading my bible every day if I can, devotionals, listening to worship music, constant prayer, etc. It might look different for each individual but the point is to have a healthy schedule of Godly activities in the weekly mix to keep you on track with a lifestyle that honors God and helps you recognize the decisions that might be permissible, but aren't beneficial (1 Corinthians 6:12).

See, temptation is nasty thing. We all have weak areas. Maybe it's food, maybe it's shopping, maybe it's lying, self-pity, lust, pride, greed, obsession, addiction, you name it. For whatever reason, just like we all have natural character strengths, there's always a flip side to that coin - a kryptonite that defuses us of our super powers. And I don't need to explain what happens when you follow any of those paths for too long. Hint: they lead to death (Romans 6:23). Okay, so I explained it.

When you have a constant exposure to righteousness, it makes it harder to give in to temptation. Think about it. The decision to give yourself over to a temptation is not quite as easy when you know small group is the next day and you'll have to tell people "how you're doing". Many people have a hard time attending worship services because the atmosphere that worship creates causes us to reflect on areas of our lives we may have been neglecting. They may find themselves crying and not knowing why. With no white noise present, opening the flood gates of a whole spectrum of grace and love can be overbearing.

White noise can also help us make integral decisions, like who to hang out with. It's easier to recognize bad influences when you've been around some good ones. It's like chomping into a lemon after you just brushed your teeth. However, if you've been drinking lemonade all day the sour taste might fit right in.

There are so many lies out there: "this is how your body should look to be attractive", "it's weak to show emotion", "nobody loves you". How are you going to recognize them if you haven't been reading the Truth? You can send those lies right back where they came from if you keep God's Word close to heart. I would be remiss if I didn't provide some truths to combat the lies I just mentioned:

Lie: "this is how your body should look to be attractive"
Truth: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." ~Proverbs 31:30

Lie: "it's weak to show emotion"
Truth: "Jesus wept." ~John 11:35

Lie: "nobody loves you"
Truth: "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." ~Matthew 10:29-31

Jesus combated temptation using this same technique in Matthew 4, which brings me to my next point. The start of the chapter picks up immediately following Jesus's baptism at which, if you recall, a voice comes from the heavens saying "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." Led by the Spirit, Jesus then goes into the wilderness to be tempted by the temptor himself. 

The first thing the devil says to Jesus is "If You are the Son of God..." (4:3) I purposely truncated that sentence because it's the big "IF" at the beginning I want to call attention to. Your identity is always going to be brought into question after God calls it out. Some of the worst spiritual attacks come right after a great God moment/experience. Why? Because being on track with God's will is devastating for the kingdom of darkness. 

Back to the Matthew 4 story, Jesus then responds to three waves of temptation simply by quoting scripture and cutting through the deceitful and manipulative motives of the devil. Something he could have never done had he not been studying scripture his entire life leading up to that point. The white noise drowns out the distractions.

If you've been out of the loop for a while it's sometimes hard to get back involved in the "squeaky clean" stuff, to use a phrase my work friends seem to be fond using around me. It's kind of like jumping into a cold pool - that first leap is the toughest but super refreshing once you're in and acclimated. Or, to use a light/dark analogy, it can take a while for your eyes to acclimate to the light. I dive deep into that illustration in my blog article called the The Pirate Christian, if you're interested. 

But the same goes for the reverse. Once you've developed that healthy spiritual lifestyle, it acts as a buffer for all those little persuasions that once plagued your thoughts. And take heart, there is progress to be had in the spiritual life and maturity can be attained. The more you grow spiritually the battle for purity and righteousness becomes less about struggle and more about maintenance. There comes a point where you are no longer tossed about by every wind of doctrine and have become unshakable in your faith. (Ephesians 4:14)

So I challenge you to make some good, clean, healthy, white noise in your life. Schedule it on your calendar if you have to. Make that decision to join a small group. Get involved in your church beyond attendance. Find an inspirational book. Read your bible regularly. Get alone with God and pray for longer than 5 minutes. Tithing is another huge spiritual buffer - giving 10% of your income - an act of obedience and faith that gives to God what is rightfully His and unlocks a life of financial blessing, favor, and freedom. I assure you, whatever it is you feel you'll be sacrificing to put time into these Godly activities, you'll be pleased you did. You provide the sacrifice, God provides the fire. (1 Kings 18:20-40)

~Kyle Hopson