Forgiveness: The Key to Freedom

I retrieved this article from the St. Paul Pioneer Press archives telling the story of how my wife, Ellen, and I went from shopping for a used car to a conciliation court battle with the less-than-reputable salesman and, finally, to the resolve of it all. The author does a great job condensing the story as it took place over the course of 3 years, with many court dates, countless phone calls, tons of paperwork, and, perhaps most notable, an ever-present sinking feeling in my stomach. Ellen recalls this as the time when I gnashed my teeth in my sleep. Looking back, I amazed at how God took an ugly situation and turned it into something that got His name in the newspaper. The ultimate decision Ellen and I made was not a popular one, as is evidenced by the comments that followed the publishing of this article (which are long since gone), nor was it the common advice we received when seeking counsel, but, the feeling of complete freedom we felt afterwards was confirmation in and of itself. Although certainly not as extreme, I liken parts of our story to that of Joseph's. After his jealous brothers threw him into a well and sold him into slavery, he stayed faithful to God's word, knowing he was destined for great things. He worked to gain the favor of his captors, enduring trail after trial, until he ultimately earned a seat at the right hand of Pharaoh himself. Finally the day comes when he is able to exact judgement on his brothers for their wrongdoings and have the justice he so deserves but instead he says... "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20) It's my prayer that even more people would find the forgiveness Jesus has for them and, in turn, be able to offer forgiveness to those that may have deeply hurt them. If this story somehow encourages that, well, praise God. Forgiveness. The key to freedom. April 21, 2009 IF LORD FORGIVES, A COUPLE DECIDES, WHY CAN'T THEY? BURNED IN A CAR SCAM, A HUSBAND, WIFE LEARN AN ETERNAL TRUTH: GIVE, AND YOU GET Author: Emily Gurnon Edition: St. Paul Section: Main Page: A1 Article Text: What would possess an otherwise normal, sane young couple to forgo $6,400 they could have recouped from a calculating thief? Call it temporary insanity. Call it blind idealism. Or call it forgiveness. Kyle Hopson was 22 and living with his wife, Ellen, in her grandmother's basement in Lakeville in December 2006 when he answered an online ad in the Pioneer Press for a 2002 Honda Civic. The asking price -- $6,400 -- seemed incredibly low, so he put in a call to Little Canada used-car dealer Vahid Sedaghat. "It was kind of hard to get through to him," Hopson said, thinking in retrospect that might have been a warning sign. When he did, Sedaghat took control of the situation, Hopson said, insisting, "Come meet me." Hopson looked under the hood and took a test drive. "But I am not a mechanic by any means, so I couldn't tell that it was really just a slapped-together car." In fact, the car was a salvage vehicle -- it had been in a wreck. But Sedaghat didn't tell him that, Hopson said. After signing the papers at Sedaghat's Apple Valley home, the dealer left the room. When he came back, Sedaghat returned the contract to Hopson in a sealed envelope. Hopson didn't look at it until later. A line was added, in a different-colored ink, saying, "This car does have prior salvage title," and the box for "No warranty," which had been blank when Hopson signed it, was now checked, he said. Within a week, it was clear that the car had major problems. The Hopsons took it back to Sedaghat. He kept it for a week. When they got it back, it was worse, Hopson said. They returned the car to Sedaghat, hoping he would refund their money. He didn't. They took him to conciliation court in Dakota County, but he skipped court appearances. Even when a default judgment was entered against him, Sedaghat never paid a dime. A current telephone number for Sedaghat, 53, could not be found.WAITING, WAITING ... About the same time they bought the car, the Hopsons were members of a small group at Celebration Church in Lakeville. They were struggling with the fact that they had been naive, that they had spent so much money and that it seemed there was nothing they could do to get it back. "We felt really horrible," said Ellen Hopson, who was pregnant by the time. "Especially Kyle felt so bad because it was kind of an unwise decision to go through this guy." The church group began praying about the situation, she said. "They encouraged us that God could get this money back and use it for good," Ellen Hopson said. Kyle Hopson said his feelings began to change. First, it was "he owes us something," but they wanted the whole thing to be done with. Then, it was, "All right, God, this is just your money. We'll let you get it back, because we know you can. And we don't know how." They hit upon the idea of giving the $6,400 to the church's building fund -- if they got it back from Sedaghat. The church planned to raise money for a Family Life Center, an addition to the current building. The Hopsons liked the idea because, among other things, it would benefit their son, Benjamin. The pledge timeline was two years. Months went by as they waited for a criminal case involving Sedaghat to wind its way through the courts. If he were convicted, they could get restitution money and pay the church that way. The case involved not only the Hopsons but five other victims. But things were looking bleak. "It just kept dragging on, with Vahid not showing up, not even a prospect of us seeing a penny back from it," Kyle Hopson said. "So, we're like, we should make good on this somehow," he said. "We started to save up the money ourselves." Every time they had a little extra -- a tax refund, a promotion -- they put it toward the pledge. It wasn't easy. Kyle Hopson works in customer service for Best Buy, making about $30,000 a year. Ellen, now 22, works as a hair stylist and makes about the same. Last summer , they bought a house in Burnsville. Their mortgage payment is $1,100 a month. There isn't a lot left over, though they were able to save more while they lived with Ellen's grandmother. FORGIVEN They finally paid off the pledge to the church in March. "And within a week, we got a letter that Vahid pleaded guilty" to one count of theft of moveable property, Kyle Hopson said, "and there's going to be the opportunity for us to claim restitution." But after all that -- all the waiting, all the frustration, all the scrimping and saving -- they decided to let it go. They wrote a letter to the court saying they would not seek any money from the man who had robbed them. "We figured he's not the type of guy who ever sees forgiveness," Kyle Hopson said. "He's always watching his back." Their faith informed the decision more than anything, both said, citing the Christian tenet that Jesus died for the forgiveness of humans' sins. "So it's really nothing for me to say, 'You don't owe me that anymore,' " Kyle Hopson said. "Because I hope this brings you to a place where you understand how you've been forgiven by Jesus." They now attend "The Rock" church, which meets within Celebration Church. Their pastor, Jeff Warner, had talked about how there is freedom in forgiveness, and that those who hold on to bitterness choose to suffer. The Hopsons now agree. "He's forgiven," Kyle Hopson said. "We're fine with that -- and I'm done." Having pleaded guilty in March to the theft charge, Sedaghat was sentenced Thursday in Ramsey County District Court to the 17 days he has served in custody. He said through his attorney in court last week that his home and business are in foreclosure. [photo not included in archives] Photo: PIONEER PRESS: SCOTT TAKUSHI Caption: Kyle and Ellen Hopson, of Burnsville, say their Christian faith has guided them in deciding to forgive the man who scammed them into buying a salvage car. "So it's really nothing for me to say, 'You don't owe me that anymore,' " Kyle Hopson said. "Because I hope this brings you to a place where you understand how you've been forgiven by Jesus." Copyright 2009 Saint Paul Pioneer Press Record Number: 0904210005 I just found the email I sent to the Ramsey County Court lady who reached out to me requesting my restitution claims against Vahid so I figured I would append it here. Apparently they did end up reading it verbatim in court since that's ultimately what piqued the Pioneer Press Reporter's interest. -------------------------------- Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 1:52 PM Hello Ms. Griffin, Thank you for following up with me and leaving me a message the other day. I am actually not seeking any restitution against Vahid and my impact statement will explain that more. I realize that my statement may not be typical of most that you see but if it is at all possible, I would like for it to be read in court. Feel free to let me know if you need any changes or anything else from me at all! Here is my impact statement: Although my wife and I have been greatly impacted by this crime, we have been able to overcome it through our faith in God and feel that we are not entitled to claim any kind of judgment on Vahid. Several months after the occurrence of the theft by swindle, my wife and I decided to pledge the money we had lost on the car to our Church’s building fund. In other words, we turned the money over to God for Him to recover. Well, we realized that this wasn’t exactly God’s plan for it. Over the years, we kept waiting for justice to be had so that we could give the money to the church. The money didn’t appear to be coming any time soon since Vahid never showed up for any of his court dates. I was even called to attend one which never went through probably because Vahid had another excellent excuse. Running from his problems seems to be Vahid’s strong suit. Anyways, my wife and I started to pay off our pledge to the church out of our own income because we wanted to be faithful to our word. I am thankful that, in respect to entire world, we are considered wealthy; however, we are by no means overflowing with expendable income and, in the midst of this situation, we had a child. Never-the-less, we would still save up enough money to pay the church periodically in hopes that this contribution, this effort, would somehow motivate God to finalize His justice with Vahid. I know, it sounds crazy and, looking back, I would agree. Well, within the past month (February 2009), we finally had enough money to fully pay off our pledge to the church; the total was approximately $6,400 (the amount of the car). No later than a week after we had signed and sent that check, we heard from the court that Vahid had pled guilty to our charges. My point with all this is that money isn’t really what matters in life and God is bigger than it. He provided for my wife and I to have promotions at our jobs even in this economic recession which then allowed us to pay off our pledge and we are confident He will continue to provide for us in the future. We have no need for additional money from Vahid. He seems like the kind of guy that doesn’t see a lot of forgiveness and we can only hope that this would bring him closer to the ultimate forgiveness Jesus has for him. Thanks, Ms. Griffin! -Kyle Hopson --------------------------------

Lightning Faith

If you've read some of my blog articles you may notice a reoccurring theme. I tend to build analogies out of things/concepts found in nature or every-day-life and tie them to some type of spiritual revelation I've had. I think this is product of "awe". Albert Einstein once said "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." I'm of the latter persuasion.

I can't ignore the beauty and mystery evident all around me in creation (Romans 1:20). You can tell a lot about a painter by studying their paintings. You can tell a lot about a musician by listening to their songs. You can tell a lot about the Author of life by looking at the words He used to form it. As I consider the works of His hands (Psalm 8:3-4), I can't help but see a reflection of Him.

With that preface, my latest muse has been the somewhat un-explainable natural phenomenon that is lightning. Although scientists have figured out a lot about what causes lightning, they are still at odds about the exact conditions under which it occurs. The same goes for tornadoes and many other weather-related extremes. To that I say, you can't tame a Lion (Hosea 11:10, Revelations 5:5). No matter how much we attempt to understand the world around us, I firmly believe that, if we are being honest with ourselves, we will eventually get to point where the only plausible explanation is intelligent design, i.e. God did it.

The more I research the vast amount of information we do know about lightning though, the more I am seeing a majestic meteorological metaphor. Bear with me here as I set the stage with some science talk.

There are many different types of lightning but one of the common forms that we see actually starts from the ground up. That's right, if you slowed that nearly-instantaneous flash of light down, which is a feat in and of itself, you can see that the lightning is starting from the earth and branching upward, towards the heavens (see video below).



When a storm cloud has formed and an electrical field has been established, all that is needed is a conductive path for the negative cloud bottom to contact the positive earth surface and cause a lightning strike. The final path is not created instantaneously though. In fact, there are usually many separate paths of ionized air stemming from the cloud. These paths are typically referred to as step leaders.1

Still with me? Hang in there. I'm going somewhere with this.

There are various factors that affect the direction of the step leader. We are taught that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line; but in the case of electric fields, the lines of force, called flux lines, may not follow the shortest distance, as the shortest distance does not always represent the path of least resistance.1 (credit: science.howstuffworks.com)

Some of you are "resisting" the academic "path" this blog just took. Okay okay. I'll get to my point.

Lightning is a powerful connection between the earth and the heavens.

Faith is also a powerful connection between the earth and the heavens.

I believe the Kingdom of heaven responds to faith and when we exercise it in an extraordinary fashion, powerful things happen; a very real connection between heaven and earth forms. I don't think God can resist getting involved when we are asking things according to His will (1 John 5:14) and actually believing them in our heart.

If there was an economy in heaven, I think the currency would be faith. First off, what value would money or precious stones hold in a place where the streets are made of gold? Secondly, all throughout the bible, God seems to have the strongest relationships with people who place all of their trust in Him; Noah, Abraham, Elijah, David, Peter, Paul, the list goes on. They all leaned not on their own understanding but submitted that God had a bigger plan in mind, which of course He always does. (Proverbs 3:5,6)

So, just like ground-to-cloud lightning that needs a step leader to emerge from the positively charged earth surface, God is just waiting on a positively charged leader to emerge among His people so He can show off with them.

Take note as well that the path the lightning ends up taking is not always the shortest path but rather the path of least resistance. God is not looking for the "best option" or the most likely candidate to impact the world. Societal status, reputation, credentials - He doesn't care about that stuff.  He searches the hearts and minds and bestows the favor and honor (Jeremiah 17:10). He uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27). He wants your heart and all of it.

When lightning strikes, it's impressive. I don't think that many would be in dispute of that. The same goes for when God shows up, whether it's in changing someones life, breaking off an addiction, healing someones sore back, or literally parting the seas - it immediately evokes a response from all who bore witness. For some that response is one of worship and attributing the glory and honor where it is due. For others, the response is fear, and they withdraw.

"His lightnings light the world;
The earth sees and trembles."
Psalm 97:4

A single lightning strike produces temperatures hotter than the surface of the sun (and capable of sending a DeLorean back to the future). Jesus said "I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." (John 14:12)



When the conditions in the atmosphere of the kingdom are just right, our faith reaching up - a "step leader" on the ladder to heaven - forms a connection that triggers a release of power that can be seen and heard all across the earth.

@KyleHopson1


References:

1 http://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/natural-disasters/lightning4.htm

Dangerously Unaware

I personally find the prospect of carrying a gun around a bit unnerving. I have never fired anything beyond "bb" caliber. Mostly because the opportunity has never really presented itself but I'm not exactly going out of my way to try it out either. I would call it a healthy fear. It's not a crippling fear by any means. Perhaps more of a deep respect. There's something about the idea of carrying the power of life and death in my pocket that I feel would steal the "lighthearted" out of everything.

I'm sure if ever found myself on a gun range or fending off an alien invasion, I could bring myself to squeeze the the trigger. My heart too resonates with the battle cry of a soldier just like my fellow man. I've even fought in my fair share of imaginary battles, wielding everything from a six-shooter to a laser sniper rifle equipped with an x-ray scope and rocket launcher attachment. And that was just last week. But tucking the cold steel of 9mm into my belt right now would more likely put me in a cold sweat. All my mind would be doing is... 

I have a gun. I have a gun. I have a gun. It's tucked in my belt by my left butt cheek. Act natural. Act natural... THAT GUY KNOWS! HE SMILED AT ME FUNNY SO HE KNOWS! Oh gosh...

"Excuse me sir, why are you looking at me like I'm lethal? Why would you even think that?!"

"Oh hi, ma'am! Nothing's extremely dangerous on me, how are you today?... I have a gun."

I would be awkwardly conscious of the weapon I was carrying.

I've been around people who "conceal & carry" before. I didn't always know they were "concealing & carrying" though. One time I got a glimpse of a gun tucked into my friend's belt and, although we had a good 3-years worth of trust built up in our relationship, I suddenly found myself quickly rifling through all of the "disagreements" we might have had to make sure they all resolved happily.

To be clear, I am not against guns or the concept of conceal & carry. We need to protect ourselves and the people we love and when it comes the right tool for the job, well, you know how the saying goes "don't bring a knife to a gun fight". I'm sure I would get used to it with some training and time. I should probably see to that before my daughter hits her "teens".

Now here comes the metaphor...

This same concept often happens when we find Jesus for the first time.

Yeah. Jesus is like the gun. The first time you start carrying him with you, in your heart, you are so aware of the power present on your person. The power of life and death that can impact everyone in every room you walk into.

But what happens is, over time, we grow comfortable with that power, even take it for granted. My friends who conceal and carry do it without a skipping a beat. It doesn't phase them because they've done it for so long. The same goes for Jesus. As we mature in our faith, we forget about our first love.

In fact, God warns us against growing complacent like this in the letter addressed to the Church of Ephesus in Revelations:

"Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love." Revelation 2:4

The Church of Ephesus was doing a lot of things right but they had forgotten about the darkness from which they were plucked and had grown used to the grace that was covering them. Parents know all about this. Think ungrateful, spoiled teenagers who don't know how good they've got it. The next verse goes on to say...

"Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent."

So, let us not forget the passion of when we first encountered the love of Jesus and the power of his forgiveness. Let us walk into every room fully aware of the redeeming love that lives inside us and use that power to change the lives around us.

Encourage someone today. Spread the Good News. Breathe life where there is none. Bring hope to the hopeless. Esteem others higher than yourself. If someone asks for a favor, do more than the favor. Call someone and ask for forgiveness. Release freedom in your workplace. Show love to an enemy. Go out of your way to bless someone.

These are blows made by a blade sharper than any double-edged sword, that cuts deep into workings of evil and break the chains that hold us back from walking as joint-heirs to a Kingdom more glorious than we could ever imagine.

Scriptures that fueled this blog:

2 Corinthians 10:3,4

Revelations 2:4,5

Proverbs 18:21

Matthew 5-7 (Sermon on the mount)

Romans 8:17

Hebrews 4:12

Mark 16:15

Rhetoric: Cognitive Atrophy Theory

I've been thinking...

What is technology doing to our brains?

By technology I'm referring stuff like the internet and mobile phones and touch interfaces.

There's this concept I picked up from a book - yeah, that's right, a book - and it's called "transactive memory". In my words, the concept is this: we don't store information we know how to find. 

Take, for example, a phone book. You don't remember the phone numbers in there because you know where to find your phone book.

Who uses a phone book any more anyways? And who is delivering them to my house? How are they in business? Someone should tell them about Google. And then they should talk to a recycling business.

The book I read was focusing on how this concept, transactive memory, impacts relationships. In my marriage, I store information like computer troubleshooting, video game reviews, car repairs costs, etc. My wife stores information like hair cutting techniques, casserole recipes, fashion trends, etc.

When my daughter was 2 it just-so-happened that it worked best for me to take her to swimming lessons on Fridays. It wasn't necessarily my top choice as I'm not the biggest fan of swimming. Everything that lives in water is faster and slimier than me. Anyways, one of the moms in the class seemed to think I was a mom. She would ask things like "Where do you typically grocery shop around here?", "Little Suzie seems to break out in a rash from the chemicals in this water. Have you noticed that?", "We live far away so I like to get all of my errands out of the way in one trip, ya know?" I'm sorry lady. No I don't. I'm a dad. I pick up heavy things and make kids laugh with fart noises.

I realize the household responsibilities vary from couple to couple, but generally, people in relationships differ in what they do and what they are good at. That's why, the book was saying, some people take breakups so hard. All of the sudden, they can't find half of their information. I'm so used to bouncing ideas off my wife that I sometimes have trouble making tough decisions when I'm away from her.

Wow, how did I get so far off topic? Here's hoping all of that helped build good springboard for my overall point.

When we don't have to remember what you can easily find and everything is easy to find, what are we remembering? 

Google practically thinks for you. You don't even have to type to a whole word or spell it correctly and it already has what you were looking for within the top 5 results. Finding it took all of 1 second. Sometimes I feel like I'm actually holding Google up. As if it's saying "Come on, just start typing what you're thinking! I've got this! See, I've already started with the results."

When I was in middle school, I remember being asked to report on a country for a Social Studies class. I picked Sweden. I liked their flag colors the best. I spent a whole week researching, renting out library books, and skimming over the pages for any morsels of information I could pull out. After all that work, which I was proud of by the way, I had a colorful poster highlighting the types of food they ate, the geographical layout, some nice population stats, their awesome flag, etc.

Now, Wikipedia makes all of that work seem laughable (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden). Even if schools don't let you cite Wiki as a valid reference, you can follow the breadcrumbs in the reference section to get to the original source. I wonder if middle schools assign reports like that anymore?

Ultimate convenience seems to the destination we're headed. Mobile phones, tablets, TVs everywhere, intuitive touch interfaces. My children are already trying to "swipe" the screen on my laptop to scroll down only to be frustrated that it isn't working.

What would happen if a gigantic electromagnetic wave put the entire world into a blackout and wiped every bit of data of the face of the earth? All of the data and records, gone into oblivion. Any of you glass-half-full-ers wanna take a stab?

Are we suffering from cognitive atrophy? Some might say these advances free up our minds up to think about other things. If we are only using 20% to begin with, why did we need to free some up? How did Adam remember all the names of the animals if he didn't write them down?

Will we be able to "think" our Google searches soon? Are there going to be any "experts" in the future if we all have instant access to the same information?

Time will tell, I suppose.