One Quirky Snowflake

I sometimes think God let's me believe I came up with an idea when it was really His. Only when I look back on the outstanding circumstances under which I came to the realization do I notice the depth of wisdom behind it and realize there is no other explanation of the occurrence than: He planted it there. 

My wife knows this about me as well, much to her chagrin. She can tell me an amazing idea or thought but knows that I won't really own it or endorse it until I feel like I've come to the understanding by my own willpower... that must be frustrating. It's something I'm working on. I've got to learn to be more supportive in the moment rather than retreating into my thoughts to process things only to regurgitate the idea/thought on a later date, unbeknownst to the idea originator. Is that intellectual plagiarism? But then again, wouldn't another word for intellectual plagiarism just be "learning"? Either way, I think I'm weird.

What I find interesting is that God knows my quirkiness and works with it. I guess that shouldn't surprise me. That's like being surprised that a painter knows the subtle nuances of their painting or a composer knows the disjunct melodic tendencies of their composition.

I wish everyone would discover their quirkiness and embrace it. It is that which makes us unique from the billions of other people on the planet. Scientists have studied snowflakes and found that no two of them are alike when scrutinized under a microscope. My mind can't wrap around the infinite creativity of that. Not only are they unique to one-another but they are also all beautiful! If I had to design millions of snowflakes, I think I could do a decent job but at some point they would start to lose their symmetry and look like Picasso drew them... not that Picasso's paintings are ugly... who am I kidding, they are freakishly disfigured drawings that are upsetting to look at, in my opinion of course. I can appreciate avant-garde jazz but I just don't see eye-to-eye with Picasso.

Rule # 3: Avoid Boxes

As with the previous two rules I've written about, this one was also birthed from an interaction with God. It always seems like these revelations come after a long, drawn-out period of internal struggle or soul-searching; a spiritual dry season if you will. This time was no different. I was having a hard time understanding certain parts of the bible, unsure if God was happy with me, and straining to hear from Him.


Driving home from church one night I was praying, and I forget about what exactly, but suddenly it was as if I was caught up in a day-dream. My eyes were open and I was still driving but somehow, at the same time, my mind was transported elsewhere, to a new setting. Now that I put it into words it seems pretty far-fetched but I know there are people out there - you know who you are - who can drive to and from work without remembering a single thing of the trip in-between. Their motor skills (pun unintended) are so practiced that they are able to put their body in autopilot and retreat into their thoughts.

What I was experiencing was something similar but it came out of cognitive left field and the subject matter was in stark contrast to what I had been praying about moments before so I was convinced the source was something other than my imagination.

Anyways, in this... I'll call it a vision... I was visiting a prison. In my gut I knew who I was here to visit. I had just arrived and was being escorted by the guards to the visitors area. Everything I know about the inside of a prison comes from movies and TV shows so I have no clue how accurate this vision was to reality. The room I entered had a bunch of seating areas with glass separating the inmate and the visitor. I sat down in a chair facing the glass and something, whether it was a curtain or a tint in the pane, was restricting me from seeing who was on the other side. Once I had sat down I said "Alright. I'm ready to see him." and they removed the barrier...

There was Jesus, banging on the glass with his fist, screaming "I'M HERE FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU! I'M NOT THE ONE IN PRISON, YOU ARE! COME WITH ME! I CAN FREE YOU!"

That's when I snapped out of the vision, but the feeling having my world rocked carried over. He had been crying out for me the whole time, banging on that glass, waiting for me when I thought I was the one visiting. I thought I had him right where I wanted him; always right where I left him. We met on my terms and when it was convenient for me. Probably on Sundays and a here and there during the week if I wasn't too busy. Little did I know, I was the one in captivity and in need of freeing.

From that day on I vowed not to put God in a box. No more pretending to know everything about Him. No more cookie cutter prayers. No more manufactured miracles. Every scripture now held infinite wisdom. Every prayer was a fresh breath of life. Every person was to be approached as unique like an undiscovered treasured.

If you've ever noticed God trying to teach you a lesson, you probably know that He often delivers the message in installments. If you were at all doubting what you first heard from Him, just give it a bit and you'll start seeing signs of that revelatory motif surface in the most unsuspecting places. It's like when you first learn a new word and suddenly you notice everyone is saying it.

Yeah, that's Ben.

For me, I had a number of confirmations of the "God in a box" lesson. My good friend told me about a preacher who built a lifetime of sermons off of one chapter in Psalms; CRAZY! In my bible studies, I started to see how Jesus healed people differently almost every time; COOKIE CUTTER SCHMOOKIE SCHMUTTER! I listened to a pastor tell a joke in the middle of his prayer and then proceed to call out words of healing for the congregation; OUT OF THE BOX!

God was confirming what He'd started in me with the vision. He wanted to make sure His point had sunk in and knew I needed some repetition. I was getting his point loud and clear.

Although it's not stating it outright, this scripture was possibly the most pivotal in helping understanding the vastness of God and that I should never think things like "I've got it down" or "I am fully enlightened" or even "I have arrived"...

"Jesus also did many other things. If they were all written down, I suppose the whole world could not contain the books that would be written." John 21:25 (NLT)

I love that because it prevents me from ever thinking I know all there is to know about how Jesus worked and what he did. It builds faith in me to believe in the impossible because maybe Jesus did it and we just don't know about it.

There you have it. Rule # 3: Avoid Boxes.

Rule # 2: Keep it Real

A few Sundays ago my wife and I were serving in the nursery at church and met this lady as she dropped off her baby boy. Her husband had just come on staff as a new worship leader. After exchanging some pleasantries, my wife, being true to her nature said "You've got a crumb or something on your face."  The woman immediately brushed her face off and replied "You're a true friend."

Ellen, my ravishing bride, is not afraid to jeopardize a comfortable surface-level conversation to let you know you've got something in your teeth. She's like that. She keeps it real. Myself, I would either A. not notice (most likely) or B. be too worried about making things awkward to say anything.

We humans like relationships like that. We like people to tell us the truth. We all engage in the shallow "How's the weather?"-banter once in a while but establishing a real connection involves a bit of risk. To quote Kris Vallotton, Senior Associate Pastor of Bethel Church (Redding, CA) "You can only love someone to the depths you are willing to suffer for that person." Essentially, the more you love someone, the more of your heart you are trusting them with and giving them the choice of how to take care of it. Keeping it real often leaves you and/or the other person vulnerable to hurt.

All throughout the bible, we see God's desire for this type of real, personal relationship with us. He doesn't just want robots following His protocol; He wants interaction, two-way communication, your opinions, your thoughts, your emotions, your heart.

Some time ago, I had this real itch to experience my relationship with God in a more real way. I wanted Him to speak to me, point me in a direction, confirm something, I don't know, maybe part one of our 10,000 Minnesotan seas or something, anything! It just wasn't happening. Then one day, while praying fervently for some heavenly involvement...

Me: "What's going on, God? Where have you been? This isn't like You. You used to be so evident everywhere I went. You came through when we needed money, You helped me get that job. You gave me the right words to talk to people about you. You healed my hand. Why can't you be more real with me again?"

All of the sudden I get a reply...

God: "You first."

Me: "....wha... wha... wait, what was that?"

God: "You be real with me first."

Thunk went the arrow to my heart. Just like that He'd cut to source of my roadblock.

There were things I hadn't told Him about; things getting in the way of our relationship that hadn't even occurred to me before. My mind started racing through decisions I'd made without bringing Him into it, sins I'd committed, people I had hurt, and here I was, praying what now seemed like a shallow prayer, asking God why He wasn't being real. Needless to say, my prayer time went on for quite a while after that.

You can't fool God. You can't hide from Him, You can't run from Him, there's simply no escaping His gaze. Not because He wants to über-micromanage you, but because He's captivated with you. Crazy about you like a parent is for their child. His rooting for you all along the way, cheering for your success, and sharing in your pain.

So why not be real with Him? What's holding us back? Yes, God is to be revered, exalted, honored, bowed down to, served, but can we also talk to him like a friend? Can we let Him know when we're mad at Him? Can we gossip with Him? Can we ask Him dumb questions like "Why did You make the platypus?" Does he have a sense of humor? Does the previous question answer that?

How did this concept of keeping it real hold up in the context of the bible?

Right from the get-go God's original design for humanity was to be hanging out with Him in the perfect garden. He put man and woman in a place where they were totally provided for and He could visit them on a regular basis. On purpose, He put the tree of the knowledge of good and evil there, trusting Adam & Eve not to eat its fruit, thus giving them the choice to obey Him. See freedom isn't in the absence of restrictions but in the presence of options. He gave us the freedom to break His heart. Trust, the foundation of a relationship.

Fast forward to Genesis 18:17. It is almost as if God is monologue-ing and having a crisis of conscience:

“'Should I hide my plan from Abraham?' the Lord asked."

Don't ask me who overheard that heavenly rhetorical question but it's in scripture. God was debating whether or not to put Abraham in the loop on His Executive decision regarding Sodom and Gomorra. His conclusion to bring Abraham in on it resulted in an interaction that one could argue was not even necessary considering the outcome. With utmost respect and honor, Abraham "barters" with God about how many righteous people would deem Sodom and Gomorra worthy of saving. He ultimately brings Him down from 50 to 10. What is so interesting about this to me is that God knew all along that even 10 was too high, but He still entertained the conversation. Ultimately, God's angel's had to forcibly extract Abraham's complacent son, Lot, and his family before destroying the cities. God didn't have to tell Abraham His plan, but choose to because they had a relationship and that's what friends do.

I should note that, because of Jesus opening the door for everyone to have a direct relationship with God, we can take comfort knowing God doesn't exact justice with fire and brimstone anymore. Jesus died for EVERYONE's sins so that NONE should perish but have the opportunity to choose him and have everlasting life. We aren't judged by our obedience to laws anymore but by our relationship with Jesus, out of which beautifully comes loving obedience to the heart behind the laws. John 5:22 NKJV "For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son, that all should honor the Son just as they honor the Father." Thank you Jesus.

Another shining example of God's value on relationship with His people is Moses (emphasis on shining, hehe). I mean, I could just reference Exodus 33:11 which says "So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend." but I prefer to reference one of the most theology-shattering passages in the bible:

"So the Lord changed his mind about the terrible disaster he had threatened to bring on his people." Exodus 32:14

Can God change His mind? Think about that for... your whole life, because you're never going to figure it out. UNLESS, you put it in context. Remember, God loves relationship; it's why He created us and said that it was good. The verses leading up to that one tell it all.

Moses is up there on the mountaintop with the rather tangible presence of God (see smoke, fire, earthquakes, and lightning) transcribing an encyclopedia of laws and decrees and, within the amount of time Moses is gone, the people grow restless and decide they want to serve a golden calf of their own creation instead of God. Just having delivered the 10 commandments, the first of which is "You shall have no other gods before me.", God is ready to uphold his end of the deal. 

This is where Moses steps in. Moses pleas with God, reminding Him of His own promises to deliver them to the Promised Land... and God changed His mind. His relationship with one man trumped the laws he had put in place. If it weren't for men who found favor in God's eyes and pled for the rest of us, we wouldn't be here (see Jesus).

One last example. We'll jump to the New Testament with this one: John. Or should I say, "the disciple whom Jesus loved"? That's right, if you read the gospel according to John you'll notice that John, being the author, refers to himself in the 3rd person as "the disciple whom Jesus loved"...

The disciple Jesus loved was sitting next to Jesus at the table. (John 13:23 NLT)

When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” (John 19:26 NKJV)

Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!”... (John 21:7 NKJV)

Knowing this, one might prescribe John with some pride issues, or at least an odd case of 3rd-person-itis. I'm pretty sure I would be labeled as such if I went around saying "Hark, the one who rocks at video games requests that you pass the butter." But the real interesting part about this is that the bible's Editor in Chief let the self-designated title slide. There was something so deeply personal about John's relationship with Jesus that he set himself apart from the rest of the disciples as having a unique connection to Jesus. He belonged to Jesus and he knew it.

In fact, the book of John is full of references to the apex of all relational facets: love. He references it 58 times, second only to the Psalms with 79 occurrences (NKVJ). One of my favorite of all of these verses, which include John 3:16 by the way, is the following, and I feel it wraps up my overall point quite well:

John 15:15 NLV "I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me."

In summation, God did not design us to be slaves, bending to his every command, but instead allowed us the freedom of choice and even lets us in on His plans, thus setting the stage for a real relationship with Him involving trust, sacrifice, communication, time, even intimacy. As such, I hold myself to the rule of always keeping it real with God, as true friends do.

Rule # 1: Check Your Power Cord

Any good adventurer knows that treasure is not stumbled upon through haphazard exploration but discovered through calculate decisions and hard lessons learned. Indiana Jones didn't just come across the Ark of the Covenant one day; he outran massive boulders, dodged poison darts, faced his fear of snakes, was tied up by Nazis, outwitted by evil-minded antagonists, etc. but at every turn he somehow managed to elude certain doom with his intellect, charm, and a fair amount of luck.

I always tell my son, it's not a big deal to make a mistake, what matters is how you handle it when you do.  No doubt Indi learned a lesson or two - "tricks of the trade", if you will - in his many preposterously perilous predicaments.

That is exactly what this blog article is about. Lessons I've learned, some of them hard and deeply personal, through my adventures as a follower of Christ. Turns out Jesus doesn't take the beaten path.  He takes this straight and narrow one that takes you up and down mountains, through raging waters, skirting precipices, and all kind of treacherous terrain. Not the popular route by any means but, the glorious sights and experiences it leads you to are a thousand times more worth it than the fleeting challenges you'll face.

I deemed these rules "Kyle's Rules" because they very relevant to my life. There are only four of them currently as I like to keep things simple. These are rules that I continually remind myself of in my relationship with God; rules that keep me out of religious Pharisee territory (which almost seems like a contradiction since Pharisees were all about rules); and, perhaps most compelling, rules that have resulted from my interactions with God.

God, thank you for being a patient teacher with us slow and stubborn learners.

Rule # 1: Check Your Power Cord

It's Computer Troubleshooting 101. Always check if something is plugged in before proceeding. It's just embarrassing, not to mention a waste of time, to have a PC tower dissected into mess of screws and components only to realize the thing didn't have power.

The same goes for operating as a child of God. Before you get your knickers all twisted up about the most recent and inevitable drama that's surfaced in your life, check your power source. Make sure you are plugged in and connected with the One who sees everything and can make it all work out.

A while back I was in a season of life where I had this insatiable desire to see miracles happen around me but they just weren't happening the way I expected. I was doing everything I thought was right - I was praying for people, I was stepping out in faith, I was even reading a Smith Wigglesworth book - but still no immediate results.

This went on for quite some time - weeks, maybe months - and then, one day, I was praying and asked God what I was missing. That's when He dropped this revelation in my lap: I was more concerned about seeing a miracle happen than I was about seeing someone healed.

Now, that might seem like a redundancy to you but it made a world of sense to me. It was a classic tunnel-vision mistake. I had lost sight of the big picture: God's heart. God doesn't just want to heal peoples' physical ailments, He wants to see them completely and entirely restored in mind, body, and soul and turn to Him.

Jesus didn't just heal the paralytic that was lowered through the roof, he forgave his sins (Mark 2:8). He didn't just heal the man who had been sick for 38 years at the pool of Bethesda, he told him to get off his keister and pick up his own mat (John 5:8). He didn't flaunt his super powers, he washed his disciples feet and taught them humility and honor (John 13:5).

Isn't that so like God? He bypasses our behavioral issues and cuts right to our heart condition. I could have probably saved myself a whole lot of time by making sure my power cord was plugged in and concerning myself with God's heart for people.

Shortly after the realization of this, I shifted my mindset from miracle-mode to care-about-people-mode and as a result, God allowed me to be a vessel for several really cool experiences. I prayed for someone's back pain and afterwards asked them to test it out and they were able to touch the ground by just bending over, which is impressive without the miracle in my book, but was also something that would have caused sharp pain before. My wife and I also saw a woman walking with a limp and asked if we could pray for her. Again, after we finished, we asked her to test it out. She started walking as if to favor the pain but gradually smoothed out realizing she didn't need to.  So. Cool.  Praise God, the finisher of our faith.

As an aside, when you pray to see miracles in your life, be careful; you just might end up being the one needing one.

My advice to you when you seem to have run into a road block in your life: check your power cord. Are you even plugged in to the power source or are you trying to do the impossible all on your own?

How?

Pray. Ask God to reveal that which is holding you back from the good things he has for you. James 1:17 says "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning." Philippians 1:6 says "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" Stand on those scriptures, set your eyes on hope, seek out peace, and wait on God, who knows what is best for His children.

Another thing that really helps is, well, my Rule # 2: Keep it Real. But you'll have to stay tuned because I don't have it written out yet.  More to come!