My son:
Mom, there’s a new season that just came out in my game and I really want to buy some of the items. Can I spend $10 on it?
My wife:
I think so, but check with Dad.
My son:
But aren’t you two, like… one?
I’ll give him credit. He’s got the concept of marriage down, but not necessarily the approval process for spending money on video games.
This is the beautiful thing about marriage; two become one. Sure, you continue to occupy the same physical body you had before you were married, but spiritually you’ve merged your life with your best friend. Huge level up.
In the first chapter of Genesis, we see God creating our world - the waters, the earth, the sky, the plants, the creatures - and after each day, He wraps it up by stepping back, cracking his knuckles, observing his handiwork and calling it good.
Genesis 1:31 // Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good…
Then we get to Genesis chapter 2, and we see that God has created Adam and placed him alone in the garden of Eden. Something was off though, because this is the first time we hear God say “Hmm, that’s not good.”
Genesis 2:18 // And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone…
Now, we know that Adam must have been a talented lad because he was naming all of the animals and tending the garden. He was probably even quite self-sufficient. I mean, his dad was literally Father God. But even with all of that going for him, he wasn’t complete. He wasn’t balanced. Creation wasn’t balanced. Until, He created woman.
It’s like only having a left shoe. I guess you could get somewhere, hopping along on one foot all day, but it’s much better when you pair it up with a right shoe. It’s like you have a New Balance… 👀
Man and woman are made to go together. The master of creation, God, designed it that way. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Designed for each other. This is the good life.
Genesis 2:24 // Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
My wife, Ellen, and I have been married for 17 years. Before getting married I was pretty consumed with my own world. Sure, I was in church and reading the Word and knew truths like “it’s more blessed to give than to receive” but, aside from some pretty meager birthday and Christmas presents, I had very little practice thinking about what other humans needed or wanted. I mean, we’re talking 90-95% of my thought life was focused on me.
When I got married it was like Ellen’s voice suddenly started showing up in my thought life. I’d find myself filtering decisions, big and small, through how it would impact her. I suddenly had a desire to work hard and succeed to make her life enjoyable, and not just my own. I think this why God said, “It’s not good that man should be alone.” When left to live solitary lives, the world starts to revolve around us, which is off balance. We’re designed to do life as a team. The beauty of His tapestry is only seen when the individual threads are woven together.
Side note to all you single folk out there, this applies to you as well. Even if you’re not married, it’s still not good to live in isolation for long periods of time. When you find your people, a community, a church family to do life with, the same healthy perspective, encouragement, and building up happens.
Matthew 5:20 // For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
Another phenomenon I started to experience when I married Ellen is I could see new dimensions. That’s right; I gained a super power.
Have you ever used 3D glasses? I’m not talking about the polarized ones you might get at an IMAX 3D movie or those fancy shutter glasses. I’m talking about the ones with the cardboard-frame and the red and cyan tinted lenses that instantly make you look like a robot. When you put them on they enable you to see certain images and video that may be physically displaying on a flat 2D plane as if they’re jumping out at you in 3D.
That’s what it’s like being married. You start to see the world in a whole new dimension. Being married to Ellen, it’s like seeing the world through both of our eyes. It’s no longer just my single vantage point but, being one with her, I now see everything from two angles. I see new layers now; new possibilities.
For example, a tough conversation would happen at work and, rather than getting steam-rolled, I’d see a way to hold strong to my convictions and stand up for myself. Or when we joined a church and got involved in the youth program, I didn’t just hide behind the keys on the worship team, but I saw a path where I could help teach the students and became a voice speaking life into that generation. These were possibilities that came from Ellen’s side of my 3D glasses. Her red lens (because my favorite color is blue) sees opportunities to lead and take dominion for the Kingdom of God. She is wired to establish order, to shape environments, to call people higher. These were qualities and perspectives I lacked before marrying her, and now I wasn’t just noticing those paths, I was walking in them.
Hebrews 10:24-25 // And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
When we meet together and assemble, we stir up love and good works in on another. When you marry, you draw out the best in each other and your perspectives on life merge. Everywhere you go, everyone you interact with is now experiencing the both of you. You’ve gained the ability to see a new dimension of the world around you.
Whether you’re newlywed or have decades of marriage experience, tell your spouse how grateful you are for them today. Tell them how becoming one with them has made you better and given you a new perspective on life. Tell them how they’ve leveled you up.
(And for those looking for closure, yes, I did end up approving my son to spend that $10)
